Where in the World is Hannah Rothstein-deigo?

Carmen is now passé. Looking around for her red fedora is old hat. Waldo? He's gone too. Stripped straight of his striped status and become as uninteresting as mud. The new question everyone is asking is: Where in the world is Hannah Rothstein-diego?

Before I tell you where in the world this covert character, this elusive Elmiran is, you have a task. Go to http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/most-popular/watch/CDRj3yB6Ckk and help send Hannah to Australia by voting her cheesy as cheddar application to the best job in the world a whopping 5 stars.

Good. Now that you've completed your task, I'll give you the information I know about Hannah and her whereabouts.

Hannah was last seen treading the London concrete caught under a newly-purchased, colorful umbrella that would make an op-art lover guffaw with glee. She's not long for London though. I hear she's making tracks and making them fast. Rumor on the double-decker bus is that she's going somewhere reconstructed by a guy named Haussman and then jetting off to a place once known as Constantinople.

Ah! Found me! Case solved. So I'm still in London, but not for long. Sunday, I'm strapping on my traveling boots and breaking out in a rousing rendition of "On the Road Again." First it's off to Paris. We all know of my endless love affair with that city. I'll be making the usual rounds, circling around town in bipedal fashion and skittering off to eat scrumptious meals with family and friends of the French and faux-French phyla. While living this soon-to-be-had present, I'll be reliving a bit of my dad's past. In a surprise move that sends the ordinary whirling into an eddy of convivial color, my English cousin Romy Cassel will take to the Eurostar tracks with me to join in on my Parisian adventures. In a long ago and far away time, her father and mine traveled together across the UK. Now we'll set off where their footsteps left off.

I saw the Cassels this past weekend during a jaunt into the countryside. My sole British friend Emily invited me to her home in Norfolk, a bit of England known for its pancake-flat landscape. As it conveniently turned out, my relatives the Cassels also live in Norfolk, so I saw them for the first time in 10 years. And if push didn't come to shove, at least parlance came to spontaneity. Romy, upon hearing of my planned travels to France and visits to the family there, decided to hop on the bandwagon of a train and push off to Paris with me one week before my departure. We're both giddy as little girls with a new Barbie doll at the opportunity to travel together.

The rest of the time in the boonies of England was a much needed bit of relaxation. From our perch in Emily's childhood home, a warmly redone old school house, Emily and I did the normal country things - sat by the fire, went to the shore, ate copious amounts of food, stretched our legs on the hard soil of the frozen fields and went hunting with our Irish setters. Emily caught a pheasant and I caught a camel. (I hope you caught on to that jest.)

So back to my boots. Paris. From Paris to Turkey. I'll be flying over to Turkey (appropriately funny if only turkeys could fly so far) for a week of whatever my wanderlust wants to explore. I'll base myself out of Istanbul and perhaps overnight to Bursa or the caves of Cappodocia. In Istanbul, I'll tour Topaki, smell the spice market, buy at the bazaar, hop to the Hagia Sophia and do all other sorts of alliteration-based delight. I'm hoping Turkey might be a bit different to the other sites my traveling boots have stomped upon.

And then, like a flash, it's one night in London and a journey home, estimated arrival 2:15 PM at JFK airport.

This whirlwind will leave me stranded and likely jobless in the US, scraping around in an attempt to find a purpose for my present. I've been applying to jobs like it's nobody's business. The problem is that it IS somebody's business and I want their business to me mine as well. I'll keep plugging away a la Little Engine that Could. Maybe I'll be lucky and land myself some employment before I return. We'll have to see what happens. As always, I will keep you in the know.

I now hand over the warrant for the arrest of Hannah Rothstein-diego for impersonating early 90's cartoon characters. Hannah has been caught and revealed like the emperor in his new clothes. She will soon be behind red and white bars underneath a field of stars in a navy sky.